tugba's blog

freedom has always been the place where my heart feels most at home

my mother used to tell me she'd find me standing on the balcony in the middle of the night, simply looking out into the world.

i was also told that when i was only two years old, i quietly walked out of the house and made my way to my aunt's home without anyone noticing.

later, whenever i went outside to play with friends, i would always wander off on little adventures.

even as a child, i remember feeling strangely like an adult. not in the sense of maturity, but in the quiet certainty that i should be free to decide for myself; where to go, what to do, and wherever my curiosity wanted to take me.

that feeling never left me.

i've never liked being restricted whether by work, family, relationships, friendships, or expectations. not because i wanted to escape responsibility, but because i wanted the space to choose. to breathe.

over the years, i intentionally created that space for myself.

when i feel mentally free, i'm at my happiest.

not a reckless kind of freedom, just the freedom to be myself.

i'm deeply drawn to people who understand that part of me and to circumstances that allow me to exist in that kind of freedom.