charisma is embracing your uniqueness
someone who keeps to themselves and is a little hard to read can seem really interesting from afar. when you don't know much about someone, there's room to imagine all sorts of things about them. then you get to know them and realize that maybe it wasn't them you found so interesting. maybe it was just the fact that you didn't know them.
i think real charisma is something else. it's when people are comfortable being themselves, even when that means being a little different from what people expect. they don't try to make themselves more likable or turn every part of themselves into something other people can appreciate. they just are who they are.
you can usually tell the difference by how you feel around someone. with some people, you find yourself thinking about everything you say. there is an unspoken expectation. you wonder if you're being interesting enough, if you're responding the right way, if they even like you.
and with some, you don't really think about any of that. you can be quiet, disagree with them, say something stupid, or change your mind halfway through a conversation. nothing feels like a test.
that's what charisma has more to do with i believe. not making people curious about you by keeping your distance, but being comfortable enough with yourself that you don't need to impress anyone. and being around people who make you feel like you don't have to impress them, either.
i see this in the people i'm close to. they have their own interests, their own odd little habits, their own ways of looking at things. none of them would fit into one particular idea of what an interesting person should be. that's probably why i find them interesting and why i want to keep them close.